Not long ago, we took a family trip to the DoSeum in San Antonio. It had been weeks of the kids and I being homebodies. Lots of time spent out on the property, playing in the pond, new chickens, new scrapes, and toddler bruises for Jack. I thought it would be great to go into the city and have a little change in scenery.

I loved going to the children’s museum growing up. Nothing like the memories of the fake grocery store flooding through my mind as I see Jack pushing his little cart through the sea of other kids. Did I mention it was field trip Friday at the DoSeum? Mental note for next time: Tuesday mornings are probably where it’s at. But I digress.

We were all having the best time. I exhaled and felt like maybe, just maybe, the terrible twos were behind us. Jack was listening so well – migrating from exhibit to exhibit with his hand in mine. We were killing the DoSeum game together while his Dad and Ev were enjoying the little cafe.

“Alright, Jack. You’ve got five more minutes.”

“Say yes, mom?” I reassured that he heard me.

“Yes, mom,” He expressed back.

(Through multiple tantrums when leaving the park, I learned that timing cues really helped when it was time to go.)

Alright cool – we’ve got this. We are going to knock this little field trip Friday out of the freaking park!

“Alright bud, it’s time to go.”

….

Somewhere between the pretend H-E-B grocery store and the excavator, we had a full-blown meltdown. I’m talking red-faced, tears flowing, arched-back, screaming-on-the-floor kind of melty.

The reason?
He didn’t want to leave.
He didn’t want a transition.
He wanted control.

NOT TODAY.

I worked to maintain my control, by taking him into the perfectly placed family restroom to calm him down – which led to discipline, and it just got worse. At this point, I was trying to manage the both of us. What does Daniel Tiger say? “Take a deep breath, and count to four.” Well, I felt like needed to count to forty.

If only I could have handled it as well as Mom Tiger – but this was not our best moment, okay?!

I side-packed Jack out of the museum and called my mom on the way home sobbing. In all my emotion I literally thought there had to be something wrong with him. Out of the 200 kids at the DoSeum why was mine the only one melting down? After a bit of discussion, she suggested we take a look at his screen time volume. In the moment, I wanted to cuss at her, but I knew she was right.

That melt down at the museum was a mirror for me.
Not of failure, but of serious reflection.
Something in our house needed to change.

I grew up watching a lot of TV. Like, a lot. A little Cory and Topanga could fix anything. TV was pretty much always on in the background. Now as an adult in my own home, it sort of became the same. A show here, a show there, something to give me a break to reset the house. Or a little YouTube at the restaurant so Wayne and I could connect.

But I started noticing something…
The more screen time Jackson had, the harder everything else became.
Getting dressed. Leaving the house. Going to bed. Being told “no.”

His ability to regulate his emotions was lower.
His tolerance for “real world” stimulation was shorter.
His tantrums were way bigger.

And honestly? So were mine.

Let me be clear: By no means am I all of a sudden anti-screens. I’m a mom, not a magician. The Lion King has 100% saved my sanity on multiple occasions.

But after the big melty at the museum (I’m referring to mine too.) we started making some changes. Small, intentional changes.

We decided to turn the TV off for longer stretches.
Our mornings began with worship music and playing. We got outside more.
And we talked — a lot. Honestly, the time away from the screen made me realize I was missing out on some pretty entertaining conversations with my almost three year old.

Has there still been hard moments? Uh, yes.
Has the shift in our home been worth it? Absolutely.

Because when the screen went off…our imaginations started waking up again.
The tantrums didn’t completely disappear — but our ability to handle them has improved.

And maybe most importantly, I showed up better for Jack and Ev.
Less in my head. More aware of our family unit and ready to tackle the day.

We’re still navigating the crazy world of screen time. I know there’s so much noise surrounding this topic. Whether you’re a screen free family, or still letting Hakuna Matata roll when you need it. Figuring out the best route for your family is always the right thing.

If you’re in the messy middle of this too — I see you.
You’re not alone. And you’re absolutely not failing.
We’re all just learning how to show up as the best moms we can be.